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iTunes

May 9, 2008

It is official.  I now have an iTunes page.  It is still a little ghetto and my “I love to hate dating” podcast is on there.  Sound is even worse than the other versions.

The next podcast is on Detecting a Bad Relationship.  I did write it but I’m going to rewrite it.  I’ve had a lot that has happened.  I decided to use stories and categorize types in my own special way.  One comes from a friend that has recently had some questionable behavior.  I guess they shouldn’t have given my number to some guy last night and I would have kept this private.

Well, check out the iTunes if you would like to download the podcast.  Otherwise let me know if you would like me to cover anything.  Also, let me know if you like the podcasts because I’ll get better equipment.  Plus, maybe ads.

Check it out:

EBs iTunes page

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I Love to Hate Dating Podcast

April 30, 2008

Listen to: I Love to Hate Dating Podcast

Till the next time….

 

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I love to hate dating….

April 26, 2008

 I couldn’t start this Relationship Series without dating.  It is the catalyst to the whole thing.  You couldn’t have relationships, marriage, cheating and breakups without dating.

Dating at times feels like you are purposely slamming your hand in the door… over and over again.  Then asking yourself why you are doing it.  You remember.  It is a stolen glance from across the room.  The flutters you feel in your stomach when they smile at you or laugh at a joke.  It is all leading them to ask for your number. 

 

For me preparing for the first date is always fun.  I know I act like a little school girl right before sans the giggling.  I’m constantly smiling and have an extra bounce in my step.  I start going through this metal list:  what do I wear, do I need to go shopping, get my hair done, will he kiss me and how intimate he will get.

 

Then, I get on the date and that all melts away.  If it is a good date, I want it to never end.  If it is a bad date, I’m hoping a friend will call me to say they are dead.  All I can think is please god get me out of here without them trying to kiss me.  Nothing is worse than kissing someone you don’t like. Wait… I take that back.  Kissing someone with fishy lips that is attached to a Wet Vac is much worse.  Horribleness!

 

I firmly believe the first kiss is a maker or breaker of all relationships.  How many times have you said “They are wonderful?”  Then, you get back from the date and your friends ask how it went.  All you can say is “don’t always believe when someone looks great on paper.”  You really don’t want to explain exactly what a fishy Wet Vac kiss is about.  It only brings back hideous flashbacks which I’m experiencing right now.

 

Your bad date is done and over with.  Now, your friends are thinking you are a relationship sinkhole.  They come up with wonderful theories such as you pick and/or attract the wrong guy.  Not sure how this came about but I’ve been hearing it a lot lately.  First, my sister said it to me and then I saw it on an old Sex in the City episode.   This subject gets brought up and Carrie says “I don’t pick guys they pick me.”  She gets a reply of  “What are fly paper for the emotionally dysfunctional men?”  Thought that was funny but in the end it aggravated me.  I don’t think I’ve picked anyone.  I was single, I met someone, they weren’t completely horrible, we started dating and then it didn’t work out.  Was I supposed to get some sort of catalogue to pick the right guy?  If so, I got screwed on that deal and now I want my catalogue… damn it!  Now, obviously I get what I deserve if I’m going to the prison and/or metal institution for my dates.  That is one relationship that you will never be able to explain away to your friends.

 

I think that the theory is a load of crap.  I look at dating as a gravel road.  You reach down and grab a handful of gravel.  Throw it.  Then, see what it sticks to.  That is who you date.  It is really random.  Now, I’m sure you are saying “How does that help my dating life?”  It does because it doesn’t make you the bad person anymore.  Sometimes, you are just with the wrong person.  They pursued you and they knew they would hurt you.  People can be very tricky that isn’t your fault.

 

The best advice I can give you is get out there.  Go have fun!  Join your community events, get involved with a sport, become active in a church and always make new friends.  See how this idea goes back to the gravel road?  Before you only had one pebble.  You aren’t going to get much action from that.  Now, you have all these groups which equates to lots pebbles.  The more involved you are the more people you will meet which leads to more opportunities for dates.  Plus, everyone likes someone that enjoys there life.  It makes you more attractive. 

 

I just have a few thoughts left on dating.  Date a lot of people.  I don’t see any problem with dating 5 people at once.  Just don’t lead them on and/or have sex with them.  No one likes a dirty whore.  Plus, with sex you could get attached and/or get something you really don’t want.   It is better to take your time and get to know someone.  You don’t want to fall for someone and then find out they are a crazy depressive alcoholic.  That would suck!  Remember to keep your life but include them in it.  This will create mystery, keep them interested in you and make them miss you.

 

The next blog in this series is on Relationships.  I’ll go into how to detect a bad relationship.  Lets face it you don’t need my help if you have a good one.  I would love to get some comments on your worst first dates.  Post a comment or you can send a message.  We can keep anything anonymous. 

 

Till the next time…

 

(Be on the lookout…. I will be adding a podcast on this subject soon.  Having some troubles getting Libsyn to open my account.  :cry: )

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I’m not MIA…

April 24, 2008

Hi everyone,

I’m still alive. I have been working on becoming a podcaster. Having some difficulties which sucks! I have a podcast ready and waiting. I’m just waiting for Libsyn to process my payment. Plus, I’m waiting for my domain/blog name to work. Then, I can set-up an iTunes account as well.

I didn’t want to post anything until all of the above was done but it looks like it is going to take some time. So, I will be adding the dating blog to my site tomorrow or the day after. It is written. I just have to proof it and add it. No more false promises. I would love to have a podcast to go with it but I think I’m going to have to add it later. I’m just sick of waiting.

Sorry for the wait. Let me know if you would like me to add anything to the Relationship series. I’m covering detecting a bad relationship, break-ups, marriage, cheating and some random blogs about the subject.

For regular updates check out my twitter. Also, I have a few poems to tweak and then I will post those as well.

Tell the next time….

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Changes

April 1, 2008

Hi everyone,

Hope that you are having a nice life.  I am for the most part.  I just need to work out a few kinks which I started doing tonight.  I had to put my Twitter page on private because of an individual that I used to be involved with.  It is not something I wanted to do but I feel I can not enable them anymore.  I hope that one day I will be able to open it backup again.  I think it is a really cool way for you to see what I’m up to when I’m not dealing with drama.  You can always become a member on Twitter.  It is free and you don’t have to have a blog to join.  Go to http://twitter.com/ebob04 if you would like to be my friend.  I love getting new friends. 

In other news, I am still working on my series.  Got the writing done but I think I’m going to be making podcasts for each blog.  There are ten by the way.  I had the opportunity to talk to one of my twitter friends, Tim Coyne, this week about it.  He has a great page and is very nice…. become his friend too.  So, he is going to give me helpful tips to launch it with fewer bugs.  The first one will be out this week or next.  http://twitter.com/timcoyne

Check out Tim’s podcast as well at:  http://hollywoodpodcast.com/

He is also in the Nothing Show with another one of my twitter friends Dave Delany.  They take other peoples tweets and make a really funny podcast. http://www.nothingshow.com/ Well, that is a bit of what is new and exciting.   

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Tidal Wave into the Abyss…

March 21, 2008

Waves rolling and crashing down on me
Being sucked under
Beating and bashing me against the rocks
Breathe being squeezed out of me
Crushing force breaking my will

Giving into the tidal wave
Swirling through the abyss
Letting go of expectations
Darkness closing in

No hope of escaping it
Rolling me over and over again
Churning me until nothing is left
Another turn and then finality

Suddenly a flip, switch and twirl
A glimmer in the distance
Pushing towards the light
Cracking through the surface

Brilliance blinding my eyes
Air burning my lungs
Safety in sight
Driving force to make it to the shore
Arms, legs pounding the water
Danger receding

Washing up into safety
Warm sand and hot sun comfort me after my struggle
Wrapping me like a warm blanket
Made it through the trouble and strife

Studying my enemy
No longer turbulent
Seems peaceful now
Giving up its control over me

Survival has made me stronger
Fortifying me from its threats
Changing me by force
Understanding my new course

 

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New blog information

March 13, 2008

Hello everyone,

I am happy to see that a lot of people are subscribing to my feeds. Thank you! Don’t forget I have a page too. It is pretty. You might like it. Check it out.

You can also find out more information on what I’m up to on my Twitter. Please don’t be afraid to comment and/or email me. I would love to hear suggestions, ramblings and general feedback. You can always join twitter and talk with me as well. I would say “do it” but I think that might be over done.

So, I plan on doing a lot more with my blog in the near future. A new job has derailed a lot of my progress. I do have a few things in the works. I have two new poems to complete and a funny poem on Dominatrix/poly to write. We shall see if it is any good. Let me if you want me to write a poem on something too. I’m not promising anything but curious to see if I can do it. Consider it a challenge. ;~)

Also, I have started writing a series of blogs on relationships, break-ups, cheating and regular old behavioral science stuff. I’m going to cover both sides. There are several reasons why I’ve been inspired to write on these subjects. First, there are a lot of really hurt messed up people that need some help but don’t want professional help. It is sometimes easier to seek out a blog and help yourself that way. Second, everyone I talk to lately is talking about breaking up and there past relationship. Third, I’ve had two breakups in the last six months. Yeah, I’m special. I will give a little history about that but still keeping a lot private. Third, working in Human Resources always brings out what I’ve learned about human behavior and psychology. I’m not a professional but an expert at messed up relationships….hahaha

Other than that, I still need to do some stuff with my webcam and I want to repost some pictures. I’m not sure if I liked the slideshow that used to be on my page.

I hope everyone has a good night, day, week, month and of course year.

It is St. Patrick’s Day this week. Cead meile failte!

Look forward to hearing from you and I’ll post some blogs soon.

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Myspace viruses/How to regain internet safety!

March 8, 2008

This is an addendum to Myspace maybe killing your computer blog. I’ve received a lot of hits for that post. Most of the hits are coming from people who have received viruses from “Myspace.” They search about viruses from Myspace and somehow find my page. I say somehow because of the incredible number of postings out there on this subject. I

I decided to test two of the major search engines only using the wording “Myspace viruses.” The first search site that I check out was Yahoo and I found 5,380,000 entries. Wow! The second search site I reviewed was Google and it had 662,000 entries on the subject. They both had some good pages but didn’t cover everything I want to cover. That makes for a lot of trial and error. You don’t have time to search when you have viruses. Then you still run a chance of miss information and/or finding nothing. Very frustrating!

Let’s get to the heart of it. You run a risk of viruses and spyware anytime you have a networked community that lets you use your own HTML. Hackers love these types of sites. You have a lot of people that are recreational internet users. They have a basic knowledge of how to get around and where to find HTML. It is a Hackers dream.

I’ve picked a few good sites to visit and provided more information below:

1) Get yourself protected!!! You need antivirus, spyware remover, pop-up blocker and a firewall. It isn’t really an option anymore. There are horrible people in the world that really have nothing better to do than mess with you.
a) Get it Free. Check out this article on it. http://tinyurl.com/32fjb5  
b) As always I like www.download.com (They have everything you need. Plus, articles explaining things to you.)
c) I’m using a new spyware protector: http://tinyurl.com/3hgxj  It is free… try it out.
d) Make sure to update often. You need to run your protection programs every once and awhile. Especially after you have visited a questionable site, been redirected and received a pop-ups.


2) Use Myspace more wisely. This article covers a lot of the things you should be doing to protect yourself on MySpace. http://tinyurl.com/2mz93y  The abridged version: Put your page on private, change your friend request setting, keep an eye out for bad pages, change your password often, scrutinize unusual requests and use Tom. He is your friend and has good info.

3) In addition, don’t click on the Macy’s cards (delete them), don’t click on anything that looks to good to be true; don’t download songs or anything else. Just read what Mark had to say about it on TechRepublic. http://tinyurl.com/yrvc6a

4) Never give your personal information on the web and don’t keep it on your computer (like credit card numbers.) Limit the use of your real name and come up with an internet handle. I use ebob04 for this page and twitter.

5) If you think you have a virus. Close all programs right away. I personally don’t recommend shutting down because your computer may never start again. I do recommend unhooking your internet from your computer and go into a safeboot. Do this right after you update your protection programs (side-note: some protection software will only run if you have internet access.) In this case, you will have to leave your system up. To get into a safeboot: Go to Run, type in Msconfig, go to the BOOT.INI TAB, click safeboot and click ok. It will prompt you to restart. Do it. Then run you protection program and you should run Defrag from there too (see original article.) To get out of the safeboot do the same steps but unclick the safeboot box.

6) http://tinyurl.com/yoyw4p is a helpful article with lots of sites to help you and Hijack iT! helps too (can be found on download.com)

I hope this helps you continue to keep your computer safe. All the above information pertains to all of the internet and not just MySpace. I may have missed a few things. Please check my original blog on this subject “Myspace may be killing your computer.” As always let me know if you need more information and/or just give me some feedback.  

Good luck and I hope to hear from you all.

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Finding your strengths…

March 2, 2008

I’m sure at some point in your life you have had someone interview you whether you are a student or a business person. There are two questions the interviewer always asks. “Johnny, what are two of your strengths and two of your weaknesses.” If you are like me you probably gave the cookie cutter answer. Well, I’m anal-retentive and a perfectionist which can go for my weaknesses too. Lucky for me, I am both…haha Trust me they ask this question. I should know because I’ve worked in Human Resources and may soon be returning to the profession soon.

To the point, tonight I was given a really interesting book Now Discover Your Strengths. I’ve only reached Chapter 4 because they make you stop to take a test. They, talk a lot talent. That talent can’t be taught but it is our natural god given gift. We all have different talents and succeed at different task. This book puts the focus on this. How companies should evaluate and treat employees. The book states that you should play on peoples strengths and not change there weakness. Sorta like you can’t teach a new dog old tricks. Think about it. Do you excel at something you aren’t very good at? Probably not. They say you can learn but that you well never do it as well as someone with the natural talent. It is very true. I know there are things I’m ok at but I hate doing them.

They say you shouldn’t focus on your weakness but rather work on your strengths. I agree and disagree with this. I definitely think you should enhance your strengths but if you are like me you have weaknesses you just don’t want. You should take the time to fix them. They do make a great reference to Tiger Woods. Yeah, he has a great long and short game. But, I guess he has problems with bunkers. His team had him focus on bunker. He became better at them but he will never be great. Then they went back to focusing on his strengths which I think is good. I firmly believe that your weakness can hold you back and not let you use your strengths to the best of your ability.

This book even talks about your neurons and brain synapse. When, you are a baby you have an abundance of both but as you get old a huge chunk dies. This has to happen for your brain to grow. This is the process of figuring out what your talents are. Read the book they have facts and I’m just glossing over it.

Now, you have a brief intro to what the book is about but there is much more to all of this. They give you the opportunity to take a Gallup test on your strengths. Anyone who knows anything about Gallup knows they are well founded.

I think this is great and I took the test. Below are my top 5 results:


Strategic
The Strategic theme enables you to sort through the clutter and find the best route. It is not a skill that can be taught. It is a distinct way of thinking, a special perspective on the world at large. This perspective allows you to see patterns where others simply see complexity. Mindful of these patterns, you play out alternative scenarios, always asking, “What if this happened? Okay, well what if this happened?” This recurring question helps you see around the next corner. There you can evaluate accurately the potential obstacles. Guided by where you see each path leading, you start to make selections. You discard the paths that lead nowhere. You discard the paths that lead straight into resistance. You discard the paths that lead into a fog of confusion. You cull and make selections until you arrive at the chosen path-your strategy. Armed with your strategy, you strike forward. This is your Strategic theme at work: “What if?” Select. Strike.


Relator
Relator describes your attitude toward your relationships. In simple terms, the Relator theme pulls you toward people you already know. You do not necessarily shy away from meeting new people-in fact, you may have other themes that cause you to enjoy the thrill of turning strangers into friends-but you do derive a great deal of pleasure and strength from being around your close friends. You are comfortable with intimacy. Once the initial connection has been made, you deliberately encourage a deepening of the relationship. You want to understand their feelings, their goals, their fears, and their dreams; and you want them to understand yours. You know that this kind of closeness implies a certain amount of risk-you might be taken advantage of-but you are willing to accept that risk. For you a relationship has value only if it is genuine. And the only way to know that is to entrust yourself to the other person. The more you share with each other, the more you risk together. The more you risk together, the more each of you proves your caring is genuine. These are your steps toward real friendship, and you take them willingly.
 

Responsibility
Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When assigning new responsibilities, people will look to you first because they know it will get done. When people come to you for help-and they soon will-you must be selective. Your willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should.
 
 

Adaptability
You live in the moment. You don’t see the future as a fixed destination. Instead, you see it as a place that you create out of the choices that you make right now. And so you discover your future one choice at a time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have plans. You probably do. But this theme of Adaptability does enable you to respond willingly to the demands of the moment even if they pull you away from your plans. Unlike some, you don’t resent sudden requests or unforeseen detours. You expect them. They are inevitable. Indeed, on some level you actually look forward to them. You are, at heart, a very flexible person who can stay productive when the demands of work are pulling you in many different directions at once.

 

Individualization
Your Individualization theme leads you to be intrigued by the unique qualities of each person. You are impatient with generalizations or “types” because you don’t want to obscure what is special and distinct about each person. Instead, you focus on the differences between individuals. You instinctively observe each person’s style, each person’s motivation, how each thinks, and how each builds relationships. You hear the one-of-a-kind stories in each person’s life. This theme explains why you pick your friends just the right birthday gift, why you know that one person prefers praise in public and another detests it, and why you tailor your teaching style to accommodate one person’s need to be shown and another’s desire to “figure it out as I go.” Because you are such a keen observer of other people’s strengths, you can draw out the best in each person. This Individualization theme also helps you build productive teams. While some search around for the perfect team “structure” or “process,” you know instinctively that the secret to great teams is casting by individual strengths so that everyone can do a lot of what they do well.
That is what I’m about. 
For more information please visit:   https://www.strengthsfinder.com/
 

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Control of you by your anger….

February 29, 2008

Hold your anger
Squeeze it tight
Until your hands tremble, throb and go numb
Let the blood stop coursing through them

Release
Let go
Feel them stop trembling
Throbbing numbness dissipating
Warm blood oozing through them

Bringing back the air
Let it in
Feel the promise of a new life

No longer enslaved by your anger
Removing the shackles of other’s mistakes
Captor’s strength dissolving into nothingness
Gaining control of your life back
Saying farewell to unchangeable entities